{"id":576,"date":"2021-05-01T17:59:11","date_gmt":"2021-05-01T15:59:11","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/casopisdnes.cz\/?p=576"},"modified":"2021-05-01T17:59:12","modified_gmt":"2021-05-01T15:59:12","slug":"znaky-ze-zijete-s-mucednikem-jeho-komplex-dokaze-ze-vztahu-udelat-peklo","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/casopisdnes.cz\/?p=576","title":{"rendered":"Znaky, \u017ee \u017eijete s mu\u010dedn\u00edkem: Jeho komplex dok\u00e1\u017ee ze vztahu ud\u011blat peklo"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Mu\u010dedn\u00edci jsou pova\u017eov\u00e1ni za ob\u011btav\u00e9 a pe\u010dliv\u00e9 osoby, kter\u00fdm le\u017e\u00ed na srdci dobro druh\u00fdch. Nen\u00ed v\u0161ak v\u0161echno zlato, co se t\u0159pyt\u00ed; mu\u010dedn\u00edk nepom\u00e1h\u00e1 z dobroty srdce, ale l\u00e9\u010d\u00ed si komplexy z d\u011btstv\u00ed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Komplex mu\u010dedn\u00edka, zvan\u00fd Martyr komplex, je destruktivn\u00ed vzorec chov\u00e1n\u00ed, v n\u011bm\u017e osoba hled\u00e1 utrpen\u00ed ve snaze c\u00edtit se dob\u0159e a hodnotn\u011b. Nep\u0159edstavujte si ale fyzick\u00e9 utrpen\u00ed, sp\u00ed\u0161e zp\u016fsob existence, ve kter\u00e9m Martyr d\u011bl\u00e1 v\u0161e pro to, aby se m\u011bl na co st\u011b\u017eovat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Psychoterapeutka Sharon Martin vysv\u011btluje, \u017ee „komplexem mu\u010dedn\u00edka trp\u00ed \u010dlov\u011bk, kter\u00fd ob\u011btuje vlastn\u00ed pot\u0159eby a p\u0159\u00e1n\u00ed za \u00fa\u010delem pln\u011bn\u00ed pot\u0159eb ostatn\u00edch. Av\u0161ak nepom\u00e1h\u00e1 a neob\u011btuje se z dobroty srdce, ale \u010din\u00ed tak z povinnosti nebo viny. „<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pod\u00edvej se jak kv\u016fli tob\u011b trp\u00edm, ale Opova\u017e se mi pomoci!
Trpitel se udr\u017euje v identit\u011b ob\u011bti, p\u0159i\u010dem\u017e v\u00e1s dost\u00e1v\u00e1 do pozice toho, kdo jeho utrpen\u00ed zap\u0159\u00ed\u010di\u0148uje. A\u0165 d\u011bl\u00e1te cokoliv, nebo navrhnete \u0159e\u0161en\u00ed, Martyr m\u00e1 v\u017edy v\u00fdmluvu, pro\u010d si nem\u016f\u017ee nechat pomoci, pro\u010d by to nefungovalo a pro\u010d to nem\u016f\u017ee ud\u011blat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jeho mantra je n\u00e1sleduj\u00edc\u00ed: D\u011bl\u00e1m v\u0161echno, nikdo mi nepom\u00e1h\u00e1, nedos\u00e1hnu co dos\u00e1hly ostatn\u00ed, nikdo m\u011b neocen\u00ed a nikdo mi nem\u016f\u017ee pomoci. Zd\u00e1 se, jako by byl odsouzen trp\u011bt. Ve vztahu se to funguje tak, \u017ee po projevech jeho ob\u011bti a p\u00e9\u010di c\u00edt\u00edte vinu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To proto, \u017ee jeho ob\u011b\u0165 nen\u00ed nezi\u0161tn\u00e1 – d\u00e1 velmi jasn\u011b najevo, jak se kv\u016fli v\u00e1m ob\u011btoval a vy, nam\u00edsto pocitu l\u00e1sky a vd\u011b\u010dnosti, poci\u0165ujete vinu, \u017ee jste mu zp\u016fsobili utrpen\u00ed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mart\u00fdrova ob\u011b\u0165 a pomoc toti\u017e nep\u0159in\u00e1\u0161\u00ed p\u0159\u00edjemn\u00e9 pocity, jako by tomu tak bylo, kebyze vych\u00e1z\u00ed ze srdce a l\u00e1sky. Ve vztahu s Martyr c\u00edt\u00edte, jako byste ubli\u017eovali a p\u00e1chali n\u011bjak\u00fd zlo\u010din – postupem \u010dasu se pt\u00e1te sami sebe, co je s v\u00e1mi \u0161patn\u011b, proto\u017ee je v\u00e1\u0161 partner takov\u00fd ob\u011btav\u00fd a vy nec\u00edt\u00edte d\u00edk.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nec\u00edt\u00edte se, jakoby se v\u00e1m dostalo ulevuj\u00edc\u00ed pomoci a p\u00e9\u010de. Je to z toho d\u016fvodu, \u017ee jeho pomoc vych\u00e1z\u00ed z hn\u011bvu, jakoby ani necht\u011bl pomoci, ale musel, nebo\u0165 je odsouzen na \u017eivot v utrpen\u00ed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ve vztahu s trpite\u013eom
Martyr trp\u00ed dobrovoln\u011b, a ujist\u00ed se, \u017ee o tom v\u00edte. Z\u00e1rove\u0148 odm\u00edt\u00e1 jakoukoliv pomoc nebo \u0159e\u0161en\u00ed probl\u00e9mu. V\u017edy m\u00e1 d\u016fvod a v\u00fdmluvu, pro\u010d se jeho probl\u00e9m nelze vy\u0159e\u0161it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P\u0159edstavte si nap\u0159\u00edklad \u010dlov\u011bka, kter\u00fd chod\u00ed do pr\u00e1ce, star\u00e1 se o dom\u00e1cnost, o d\u011bti, o zahradu a je\u0161t\u011b d\u011bl\u00e1 dobrovolnou aktivitu – a st\u011b\u017euje si, \u017ee m\u00e1 toho hodn\u011b, a \u017ee mu doma nepom\u00e1h\u00e1te, \u017ee jste mohli alespo\u0148 pov\u011bsit pr\u00e1dlo atd. Kdy\u017e nab\u00eddnete pomoc, nep\u0159ijme ji.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A toto se opakuje dokola, jakoby se Martyr vy\u017e\u00edval v tom, \u017ee trp\u00ed a m\u016f\u017ee o tom mluvit. Vzd\u00e1v\u00e1 se t\u00edm odpov\u011bdnosti za vlastn\u00ed \u017eivot a \u0159e\u0161en\u00ed probl\u00e9m\u016f a d\u00e1v\u00e1 ho do rukou okol\u00ed. V\u0161imnete si to tak, \u017ee se v\u017edy zam\u011b\u0159\u00ed na v\u00e1s – Vy mu nepom\u00e1h\u00e1te, vy jste neumyt\u00e1 n\u00e1dob\u00ed, vy, vy, vy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nikdy nemysl\u00ed v prvn\u00ed osob\u011b (P\u0159\u00ed\u0161t\u011b JA po\u017e\u00e1d\u00e1m o pomoc, JA zm\u011bn\u00edm tuto situaci \u2026) – tedy zam\u011b\u0159uje se na to, co by druz\u00ed m\u011bli ud\u011blat jinak, aby on netrp\u011bl, proto\u017ee p\u0159ece oni jsou d\u016fvodem jeho utrpen\u00ed. Martyr vykonstruovan\u00e9 probl\u00e9my obvykle trvaj\u00ed velmi dlouho, a\u010dkoli by se daly jednodu\u0161e vy\u0159e\u0161it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A pokud mu \u0159e\u0161en\u00ed poskytnete, jeho prvn\u00ed reakce je odm\u00edtnut\u00ed a od\u016fvodn\u011bn\u00ed, pro\u010d se mus\u00ed chovat tak jak se zpr\u00e1va (p\u0159esto\u017ee jejich to v probl\u00e9mech udr\u017euje). Uji\u0161\u0165uje se v\u0161ak, aby v\u0161ichni v\u011bd\u011bli, \u017ee nikdo netrp\u00ed v\u00edc ne\u017e on – p\u0159eh\u00e1n\u00ed, aby z\u00edskal sympatie.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

zrod mu\u010dedn\u00edka
Mu\u010dedn\u00edk je v\u00fdtvorem nefunk\u010dn\u00ed a emo\u010dn\u011b t\u00fdraj\u00edc\u00ed v\u00fdchovy rodi\u010de. Velmi \u010dasto je odpozorovan\u00e9 od jednoho z rodi\u010d\u016f, nej\u010dast\u011bji matky, kter\u00e1 d\u00e1v\u00e1 d\u00edt\u011bti od mali\u010dka najevo, jak moc se pro n\u011bj ob\u011btuje a co v\u0161echno pro n\u011bj d\u011bl\u00e1. Toto emocion\u00e1ln\u00ed t\u00fdr\u00e1n\u00ed vyvol\u00e1 v d\u00edt\u011bti vinu, \u017ee je odpov\u011bdn\u00e9 za jej\u00ed ne\u0161t\u011bst\u00ed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Vyr\u016fst\u00e1 s pocitem, \u017ee je \u0161patn\u00e9 a nehodn\u00e9, proto\u017ee kv\u016fli n\u011bmu trp\u00ed milovan\u00e1 osoba – proto mus\u00ed sebe i sv\u011bt ujistit o opaku prost\u0159ednictv\u00edm p\u0159\u00edli\u0161n\u00e9 ob\u011bti a p\u0159\u00edli\u0161n\u00e9ho p\u0159isluhov\u00e1n\u00ed druh\u00fdm. Nezn\u00e1 jin\u00fd zp\u016fsob chov\u00e1n\u00ed, kter\u00fdm by si z\u00edskalo pozornost a nabylo pocit, \u017ee za n\u011bco stoj\u00ed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Proto\u017ee d\u00edt\u011b v d\u011btstv\u00ed trp\u011blo p\u0159\u00edli\u0161nou t\u00edhou odpov\u011bdnosti za utrpen\u00ed rodi\u010de, samo trp\u011blo. Jeho utrpen\u00ed si v\u0161ak nikdo nev\u0161\u00edmal, a proto je trpite\u013esk\u00fd komplex jen pokra\u010dov\u00e1n\u00edm pokusu, aby byla jeho bolest pov\u0161imnut\u00ed a vysly\u0161ena.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Z\u00e1rove\u0148 neust\u00e1le nach\u00e1z\u00ed zp\u016fsoby, jak dok\u00e1zat, \u017ee je dobr\u00fd a hodnotn\u00fd, p\u0159i\u010dem\u017e v t\u00e9\u017ee dob\u011b p\u0159ivol\u00e1v\u00e1 situace, kter\u00e9 potvrzuj\u00ed jeho p\u016fvodn\u00ed p\u0159esv\u011bd\u010den\u00ed o jeho nehodnosti (nap\u0159. Z\u016fst\u00e1v\u00e1 v toxick\u00fdch vztaz\u00edch, nech\u00e1 se vyu\u017e\u00edvat, vytv\u00e1\u0159\u00ed drama).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u010c\u00edm hor\u0161\u00ed m\u00e1me o sob\u011b m\u00edn\u011bn\u00ed, t\u00edm v\u00edce se sna\u017e\u00edme jin\u00fdch p\u0159esv\u011bd\u010dit o na\u0161\u00ed hodnot\u011b
Je t\u0159eba si uv\u011bdomit, \u017ee \u010dlov\u011bk si na mart\u00fdrstve, tedy trpite\u013estve, vystav\u011bl celou svou osobnost a identitu. Utrpen\u00ed je zp\u016fsob, jak si potvrdit k\u00fdm je. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Mu\u010dedn\u00edci jsou pova\u017eov\u00e1ni za ob\u011btav\u00e9 a pe\u010dliv\u00e9 osoby, kter\u00fdm le\u017e\u00ed na srdci dobro druh\u00fdch. Nen\u00ed v\u0161ak v\u0161echno zlato, co se t\u0159pyt\u00ed; mu\u010dedn\u00edk nepom\u00e1h\u00e1 z dobroty srdce, ale l\u00e9\u010d\u00ed si komplexy z d\u011btstv\u00ed. Komplex mu\u010dedn\u00edka, zvan\u00fd Martyr komplex, je destruktivn\u00ed vzorec chov\u00e1n\u00ed, v n\u011bm\u017e osoba hled\u00e1 utrpen\u00ed ve snaze c\u00edtit se dob\u0159e a hodnotn\u011b. Nep\u0159edstavujte si […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":577,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"tdm_status":"","tdm_grid_status":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[32],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-576","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-pro-zeny"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/casopisdnes.cz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/576","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/casopisdnes.cz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/casopisdnes.cz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/casopisdnes.cz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/casopisdnes.cz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=576"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/casopisdnes.cz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/576\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/casopisdnes.cz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/577"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/casopisdnes.cz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=576"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/casopisdnes.cz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=576"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/casopisdnes.cz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=576"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}